Thursday, December 30, 2004

Buckeyes Win...show the love

I'd like to speak to you all for just a minute about a bittersweet feeling I have at this moment. It has to do with the Buckeye's win...nay, their Dominance last night in the Alamo Bowl versus Oklahoma State

I will start. My evening started like usual, care for kids, cook dinner, wash the dishes, collect eggs, and run a load of laundry. Typical fare. Of course, all of this is being done while my wife is burrowed in the den holding three phones (literally), the fax machine working double-time, and ADP stock flies through the roof. But I don't mind, I was born to be a housewife.
Later, I get a phone call from a great friend who asks me to join him in watching the game. Soon after, my daughter reminds me of how I promised her I'd take her sledding and, after reviewing local weather reports and seeing the thawing/rain on the way, I figured it best to get that done.
My story now brings us to this point...I'm laying on my couch exhausted after the 10 minutes of physical activity that I try so strongly to avoid saps the life out of me. We went to the levee where I once was crowned King of the Peaks due to my abilities on the toboggan. I once took my chevy to the levee, but the damned levee was dry, but that is another story for another day.
I watch a Buckeye team come out from the opening gun and completely smash the crap out of Ok State. I say to myself "They are a baseball school". I see Simon Frazer drill a guy on the sidelines **side note, wasn't Simon a key character in some of our Ohio History books from jr. high? He sounds like he founded a small township or settlement back in 18 something or other** I see the greatest linebacking corp (someone challenge me on this) in recent history blow guys up on every play. After every hit, I yell at my television's warm inviting glow, "Welcome to the Big Ten, baby". Even Trev Alberts (who is an outspoken Buckeye-hater) said that OSU was impressing him and kicking ass. WoW. That's like a muslim cleric coming out and saying, "I think Christianity is a groovy kinda' religion, Communion for everybody!"
I was fairly pleased with the frank and honest conversation with Lee, Mike and Kirk about Ohio State's recent problems. No sense in ignoring it. Ignoring it would only make it more uncomfortable sorta like when you're having a serious conversation with someone and they have giant twig of lettuce sticking to their chin or something. So they did a good job with it. Done, right? Wrong. The voice over proclaims, "Coming up at halftime, there will be a 8 hour expose on the Buckeye Football program complete with charts, graphs, Clarret quotes and transcripts of federal wire taps."
But, this is where the physical activity from earlier in the evening comes into play. My eyes grow heavy as my hands slowly slide into their "sleeping position" located inside my warm underwear. Once this happens, after about 3 minutes of scratching, I am seconds away from total REM-sleep.
This morning I awake pretty certain that the Buckeyes hung on to win. But then I think, most teams I root for have shitty luck. So I get a little nervous. I slip on my fuzzy peach slippers and quickly find my new nightgown (it's got a cute little bear montage on it..darling) and skamper into the computer room. I click on espn.com expecting to see a picture or a bold-typed headline, I scan the screen. Instead, I see a picture of ..hell...I don't know...Warren Moon..I mean, someone that isn't even "in the news" and hasn't been for at least 5 years. Over to the side where the little headline clips are, I see the first listing. It doesn't say "Buckeyes dominate in win" Or not even a cute little "OSU over OSU". The headline was basically "Buckeyes in trouble. AD lies..blah blah blah". I click on it, hoping to find a score and somewhere in about paragraph 12 it mentions the Buckeyes win.
Now, I know I live in a country where the liberal mamby-pamby media force feeds us political correctness, tries to impose their hidden agendas, and basically pussifies us. But when I can't get a good honest recap of a Bowl game from a site dedicated to sports, then I get a little perturbed. Am I wrong? Is anybody with me on this?

Anyway, allow me to step off my soapbox.