Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Whatever...

It's been a while since I last made an entry into the "blog" In fact, the last time I did so, the Buckeyes had just won their bowl game, snow was on the ground, and the wonderfully warm thoughts of spring were nothing more than a distant desire. Ahh, but now spring has arrived. It's funny how one's mood, and the mood of others around you can change for the better once the sun starts to shine and the mercury rises. The wife and I recently went on a trip to Chicago (through her work) It was very nice. One thing I like about these "little" trips is that they are short in duration..usually 2-3 days. I'm a "get-home" guy. I like going places, but I enjoy even more being home. I'm famous for it with some of my buddies. They know if we all go somewhere that when the event is over, I am ready to go right now. Anyway, being away from home for a few days with your significant other is a good thing. Adult conversations are a rare thing when you have two children around and one must cherish the opportunity when time allows. We walked down the Magnificent Mile in Chicago. Busy sidewalks, tons of people, beautiful spring weather...but, being in a big city also means you have your share of crazy-folk and homeless. As we were walking, this crazy lady came walking towards us talking loudly and rambling about something. Before I could write her off as a crackpot loonie person, I had to pause a second and think...maybe she's on a cell phone with the hands free mic talking to her freakin' accountant or something! Who knows. As she wobbled by (and I realized that in fact she truly had more than a few screws loose) I told Katy that "cellphone technology has instantly made crazy people seem a little less crazy"
Another thing that has been bothering me lately is the United States Postal Services use of the "pith helmet". As you may know, I have no compassion for the USPS. For one thing, they use civil service exams to hire people. That's a big clue. Plus, I almost had to rumble with the postmaster in my town because of the location of a mailbox. Long story short...mine keeps getting smashed by snowplows and baseball bats. I simply moved it out of traffic, yet still allowed Joe Postoffice the ability to still sit his fat ass in his car and lean out to deposit my mail. I essentially made his/her job easier because of the way I located it. Anyway, Cletus at the local post office denied it and...and he was shitty about it too. He told me their schedule was too busy to drive the extra 2 feet. I answered back that it must be a terribly difficult job sitting on your can 4 hours a day driving a car around some back-country roads. I also wondered that it has to hard to find the time to deliver mail while they are stripping/cleaning their automatic weapons which they will later use to shoot up the sorting room staff.
Anway, back to the pith helmets. If you're not familiar, a pith helmet is one of those hard-shelled helmets that one would typically find on an African safari or maybe an archaelogical dig. If you went to Disney right this minute, there would be a whole staff of college kids in khaki shorts and shirts wearing pith helmets at the Wild Kingdom attraction. What concerns me most that at some point in the long history of the USPS, someone made an executive decision that permitted the use of pith helmets. "Ok, we've got the blue pants with dark blue stripe (also in short length), we've got ski caps for winter as well as baseball caps if you want 'em. Now...about my other idea. Who thinks we should order pith helmets?" Was there, at one time, a rash of postal injuries that resulted from lion attacks? Were giraffes dropping leafy greens from their mouths onto unsuspecting letter carriers who were just trying to do their damned job? A pith helmet has to cost a hell of a lot more than a baseball hat to manufacture. Plus, what about storage space? I could store 500 baseball hats in the trunk of my car...but I'm willing to bet that I couldn't fit 25 pith helmets in there.