I'd like to speak to you all for just a minute about a bittersweet feeling I have at this moment. It has to do with the Buckeye's win...nay, their Dominance last night in the Alamo Bowl versus Oklahoma State
I will start. My evening started like usual, care for kids, cook dinner, wash the dishes, collect eggs, and run a load of laundry. Typical fare. Of course, all of this is being done while my wife is burrowed in the den holding three phones (literally), the fax machine working double-time, and ADP stock flies through the roof. But I don't mind, I was born to be a housewife.
Later, I get a phone call from a great friend who asks me to join him in watching the game. Soon after, my daughter reminds me of how I promised her I'd take her sledding and, after reviewing local weather reports and seeing the thawing/rain on the way, I figured it best to get that done.
My story now brings us to this point...I'm laying on my couch exhausted after the 10 minutes of physical activity that I try so strongly to avoid saps the life out of me. We went to the levee where I once was crowned King of the Peaks due to my abilities on the toboggan. I once took my chevy to the levee, but the damned levee was dry, but that is another story for another day.
I watch a Buckeye team come out from the opening gun and completely smash the crap out of Ok State. I say to myself "They are a baseball school". I see Simon Frazer drill a guy on the sidelines **side note, wasn't Simon a key character in some of our Ohio History books from jr. high? He sounds like he founded a small township or settlement back in 18 something or other** I see the greatest linebacking corp (someone challenge me on this) in recent history blow guys up on every play. After every hit, I yell at my television's warm inviting glow, "Welcome to the Big Ten, baby". Even Trev Alberts (who is an outspoken Buckeye-hater) said that OSU was impressing him and kicking ass. WoW. That's like a muslim cleric coming out and saying, "I think Christianity is a groovy kinda' religion, Communion for everybody!"
I was fairly pleased with the frank and honest conversation with Lee, Mike and Kirk about Ohio State's recent problems. No sense in ignoring it. Ignoring it would only make it more uncomfortable sorta like when you're having a serious conversation with someone and they have giant twig of lettuce sticking to their chin or something. So they did a good job with it. Done, right? Wrong. The voice over proclaims, "Coming up at halftime, there will be a 8 hour expose on the Buckeye Football program complete with charts, graphs, Clarret quotes and transcripts of federal wire taps."
But, this is where the physical activity from earlier in the evening comes into play. My eyes grow heavy as my hands slowly slide into their "sleeping position" located inside my warm underwear. Once this happens, after about 3 minutes of scratching, I am seconds away from total REM-sleep.
This morning I awake pretty certain that the Buckeyes hung on to win. But then I think, most teams I root for have shitty luck. So I get a little nervous. I slip on my fuzzy peach slippers and quickly find my new nightgown (it's got a cute little bear montage on it..darling) and skamper into the computer room. I click on espn.com expecting to see a picture or a bold-typed headline, I scan the screen. Instead, I see a picture of ..hell...I don't know...Warren Moon..I mean, someone that isn't even "in the news" and hasn't been for at least 5 years. Over to the side where the little headline clips are, I see the first listing. It doesn't say "Buckeyes dominate in win" Or not even a cute little "OSU over OSU". The headline was basically "Buckeyes in trouble. AD lies..blah blah blah". I click on it, hoping to find a score and somewhere in about paragraph 12 it mentions the Buckeyes win.
Now, I know I live in a country where the liberal mamby-pamby media force feeds us political correctness, tries to impose their hidden agendas, and basically pussifies us. But when I can't get a good honest recap of a Bowl game from a site dedicated to sports, then I get a little perturbed. Am I wrong? Is anybody with me on this?
Anyway, allow me to step off my soapbox.
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Wilford, Roy, and Petey
What's up with Wilford Brimley and why is he so pissed off at me for considering purchasing my diabetes medicine at a drugstore? Oh sure, he wants me to mail into some program he's promoting.
Man, he's just plain mean about it now. Anyway, I always will hold him in high regard after his portrayal of "Pop Fisher" in one of the greatest movies ever, The Natural. He was absolutely brilliant. I love the exchange when Roy Hobbs is hurt and comes back to the locker room. Pops is shaving and talking about how he should have been a farmer. Roy saunters up and said that he wanted to be a farmer too...blah blah...trust me, it's pure movie magic. But I love when Pops says "you're the best goddamn hitter I ever saw". Awesome. By the way, if you don't get goosebumps when Roy hits a tater off the clock in Wrigley after the "lady in white" appears..OR..if you don't have tears in your eyes after Roy hits a game winning rocket into the lights as his teammates all dance in the shower of sparks....well, you're a damned idiot and you need your pulse checked.
As for baseball, today it was announced that some of the candidates available for voting into the Baseball Hall of Fame would be Wade Boggs, Willie McGee and Darryl Strawberry....uh....what the hell? Did I just hear "Strawberry"? You have got to be freakin' kidding me. Let me give you his rap sheet:
Strawberry was suspended from baseball in 1995 and 2000 for testing positive for cocaine and in 1999 following an arrest on a possession charge. He served 11 months in prison in 2002-03 for violating probation on a cocaine possession charge.
Pete Rose is permanently ineligible for this honor and has to be reinstated very soon or his chance will forever be lost. Pete Rose is not smart...he is not a great personality. In fact, some say he's a big giant ass. But Pete Rose was a baseball player. Pete's biggest drawback was that baseball was first and foremost in his life, it was all he really knew and all he lived for. The man's nickname is "Charlie Hustle". Take away gambling and there are very few bad things you can say about Pete. Yet, he is banned for life for gambling, an act that Major League Baseball is against except when The Ohio Lottery wants to plaster a 30 foot billboard onto the centerfield wall.
I leave you with this decision....would you rather your son or daughter bet a hundred bucks or so on a sporting event or have him/her spend time in jail for cocaine possession charges. To me, it's a no-brainer.
For Pete's Sake, put him in the Hall of Fame where good baseball players deserve to be.
Man, he's just plain mean about it now. Anyway, I always will hold him in high regard after his portrayal of "Pop Fisher" in one of the greatest movies ever, The Natural. He was absolutely brilliant. I love the exchange when Roy Hobbs is hurt and comes back to the locker room. Pops is shaving and talking about how he should have been a farmer. Roy saunters up and said that he wanted to be a farmer too...blah blah...trust me, it's pure movie magic. But I love when Pops says "you're the best goddamn hitter I ever saw". Awesome. By the way, if you don't get goosebumps when Roy hits a tater off the clock in Wrigley after the "lady in white" appears..OR..if you don't have tears in your eyes after Roy hits a game winning rocket into the lights as his teammates all dance in the shower of sparks....well, you're a damned idiot and you need your pulse checked.
As for baseball, today it was announced that some of the candidates available for voting into the Baseball Hall of Fame would be Wade Boggs, Willie McGee and Darryl Strawberry....uh....what the hell? Did I just hear "Strawberry"? You have got to be freakin' kidding me. Let me give you his rap sheet:
Strawberry was suspended from baseball in 1995 and 2000 for testing positive for cocaine and in 1999 following an arrest on a possession charge. He served 11 months in prison in 2002-03 for violating probation on a cocaine possession charge.
Pete Rose is permanently ineligible for this honor and has to be reinstated very soon or his chance will forever be lost. Pete Rose is not smart...he is not a great personality. In fact, some say he's a big giant ass. But Pete Rose was a baseball player. Pete's biggest drawback was that baseball was first and foremost in his life, it was all he really knew and all he lived for. The man's nickname is "Charlie Hustle". Take away gambling and there are very few bad things you can say about Pete. Yet, he is banned for life for gambling, an act that Major League Baseball is against except when The Ohio Lottery wants to plaster a 30 foot billboard onto the centerfield wall.
I leave you with this decision....would you rather your son or daughter bet a hundred bucks or so on a sporting event or have him/her spend time in jail for cocaine possession charges. To me, it's a no-brainer.
For Pete's Sake, put him in the Hall of Fame where good baseball players deserve to be.
Monday, November 29, 2004
Random Thoughts
The Thanksgiving holiday is over and there are a few random thoughts running through my tiny little mind. In no particular order, here they are:
Went to Michigan for Thanksgiving. Started our journey wednesday afternoon while pulling our camper. About an hour into the drive, my truck suddenly veered right, then left. I looked into my rearview mirror while saying "oh shit, oh shit, oh shit" and noticed the trailer was basically by my door. I was jack-knifing all over the road. I went down into the middle a little where my camper then went onto two wheels. It was pretty freakin' scary. Luckily I was able to save it. It's the closest I've ever been to having a major accident and the closest I hope I'll ever come. Immediately after, I was so pumped up. My heart was racing, my wife was crying but all I could think was "damn, that was some great driving!" It wasn't until about a half an hour later that I realized how close we came to serious trouble...then I worried. Needless to say, I limped back home and left the trailer there. I don't know why there was nobody beside me at the time of my near spin-out, but someone must have been watching over my girls in that truck.
Once at the "cabin" (the next day) I was a little more relaxed. I went hunting that evening. We were all clear to shoot "anything brown" and I was ready. It had snowed the night before and the woods were absolutely beautiful. Fresh, clean, crisp. It's amazing how in tune with your surroundings you become when you are sitting 30 feet in the air in a tree stand. Your ears become your best tool and you hear absolutely everything. At first, every time a bird lands on a tree within 50 feet of you, you think it's a deer coming up. When a small puff of snow falls from a branch and lands on the ground, you expect to look up and see this monster buck. What's neat is that none of that happened. There were a million sounds and no deer to be found when about an hour into the hunt you start to daydream and become careless with your careful movements. It was at that time that out of the corner of my eye I saw a doe walk down the path. My heart started racing. (so much for that finely tuned listening that I mentioned earlier) I slowly grabbed my gun in anticipation of that deer walking into range. The deer gingerly made its way into the clearing where I could begin to think about shooting. But I then made the decision to not shoot. Instead, I stood there and watched this beautiful creature cautiously make its way to the bait pile of sweet potatoes and corn about 30 yards away from me. For the next 45 minutes I did nothing but enjoy the show. I was so close that when the deer went for some corn, I could hear her mouth crunching it. Soon, she made her way right toward me and walked directly under my tree stand. I coulda' spit on her!
It was really great. Don't let me kid ya', if an 8 pointer walked in behind her, I would have taken a shot...I guarantee you that.
I saw a comedian the other day and I was reminded of what she said while on the way home sunday. I never really "got" the whole sun blind thing that people put in their car windows to block the sun from their children's eyes. This comedian mentioned that "god forbid that we allow our kids to have sun shine on them!" So true.
People are talking about Brett Favre's 200 consecutive games streak (when he starts on monday night) and how impressive it is. What a great record...and I love Brett. He's an absolute stud and probably one of the top 3 quarterbacks to ever play the game (somebody please argue that with me...I dare you). Instead of appreciating it, sports folk decided that we should compare it to Cal Ripken's streak 2000 plus games. First of all, it's apples and oranges. Secondly, you are comparing a streak that I am sure neither athlete would dare try to diminish the other one's. Understandably, it is now football season and the NFL, and college football for that fact, are King...much bigger than baseball in America right now. What surprised me is the overwhelming votes for Brett's streaking being Greater. Football is far more dangerous, no doubt. Quarterbacks take more blindside hits than anyone. But Ripken's streak is incredible. 162 games a year 1982 to 1998...not to mention post season and pre-season games, spring training, etc... Yes, Favre plays a violent sport and plays through incredible injuries and his position demands that he be the leader on every play, but Ripken played in 2500 plus games with injuries too. I would take Favre as the qb on my team in a heartbeat. But at the same time, I would have Ripken as my shortstop (also the leader of the team) on my all time team.
Let's just say that both are two of the best at their sports and go with it...without diminishing what either of them have done. p.s....isn't it good that we are talking about two athletes like this? The topics are "heart" "desire" "leadership" and "guts" instead of brawls that spill into the stands, someone dropping their towel on the Monday Night Football intro and arrests...this is good for everybody.
Finally, how can Michigan be in the Rose Bowl? What's more, how can they be mentioned in the BCS picture? They got beat by a mediocre Notre Dame team (who played the toughest schedule in the nation this season) and then get DESTROYED by a less than mediocre Ohio State team. It doesn't add up.
Oh, one more thing. WHO DEY?!?!?! Actually, lost in all of the hype over the Bengals victory is how they can give up 40 odd points to the Browns who aren't exactly an offensive powerhouse?
P.s....I love the Bengies uniforms despite what others say. They look great!
Went to Michigan for Thanksgiving. Started our journey wednesday afternoon while pulling our camper. About an hour into the drive, my truck suddenly veered right, then left. I looked into my rearview mirror while saying "oh shit, oh shit, oh shit" and noticed the trailer was basically by my door. I was jack-knifing all over the road. I went down into the middle a little where my camper then went onto two wheels. It was pretty freakin' scary. Luckily I was able to save it. It's the closest I've ever been to having a major accident and the closest I hope I'll ever come. Immediately after, I was so pumped up. My heart was racing, my wife was crying but all I could think was "damn, that was some great driving!" It wasn't until about a half an hour later that I realized how close we came to serious trouble...then I worried. Needless to say, I limped back home and left the trailer there. I don't know why there was nobody beside me at the time of my near spin-out, but someone must have been watching over my girls in that truck.
Once at the "cabin" (the next day) I was a little more relaxed. I went hunting that evening. We were all clear to shoot "anything brown" and I was ready. It had snowed the night before and the woods were absolutely beautiful. Fresh, clean, crisp. It's amazing how in tune with your surroundings you become when you are sitting 30 feet in the air in a tree stand. Your ears become your best tool and you hear absolutely everything. At first, every time a bird lands on a tree within 50 feet of you, you think it's a deer coming up. When a small puff of snow falls from a branch and lands on the ground, you expect to look up and see this monster buck. What's neat is that none of that happened. There were a million sounds and no deer to be found when about an hour into the hunt you start to daydream and become careless with your careful movements. It was at that time that out of the corner of my eye I saw a doe walk down the path. My heart started racing. (so much for that finely tuned listening that I mentioned earlier) I slowly grabbed my gun in anticipation of that deer walking into range. The deer gingerly made its way into the clearing where I could begin to think about shooting. But I then made the decision to not shoot. Instead, I stood there and watched this beautiful creature cautiously make its way to the bait pile of sweet potatoes and corn about 30 yards away from me. For the next 45 minutes I did nothing but enjoy the show. I was so close that when the deer went for some corn, I could hear her mouth crunching it. Soon, she made her way right toward me and walked directly under my tree stand. I coulda' spit on her!
It was really great. Don't let me kid ya', if an 8 pointer walked in behind her, I would have taken a shot...I guarantee you that.
I saw a comedian the other day and I was reminded of what she said while on the way home sunday. I never really "got" the whole sun blind thing that people put in their car windows to block the sun from their children's eyes. This comedian mentioned that "god forbid that we allow our kids to have sun shine on them!" So true.
People are talking about Brett Favre's 200 consecutive games streak (when he starts on monday night) and how impressive it is. What a great record...and I love Brett. He's an absolute stud and probably one of the top 3 quarterbacks to ever play the game (somebody please argue that with me...I dare you). Instead of appreciating it, sports folk decided that we should compare it to Cal Ripken's streak 2000 plus games. First of all, it's apples and oranges. Secondly, you are comparing a streak that I am sure neither athlete would dare try to diminish the other one's. Understandably, it is now football season and the NFL, and college football for that fact, are King...much bigger than baseball in America right now. What surprised me is the overwhelming votes for Brett's streaking being Greater. Football is far more dangerous, no doubt. Quarterbacks take more blindside hits than anyone. But Ripken's streak is incredible. 162 games a year 1982 to 1998...not to mention post season and pre-season games, spring training, etc... Yes, Favre plays a violent sport and plays through incredible injuries and his position demands that he be the leader on every play, but Ripken played in 2500 plus games with injuries too. I would take Favre as the qb on my team in a heartbeat. But at the same time, I would have Ripken as my shortstop (also the leader of the team) on my all time team.
Let's just say that both are two of the best at their sports and go with it...without diminishing what either of them have done. p.s....isn't it good that we are talking about two athletes like this? The topics are "heart" "desire" "leadership" and "guts" instead of brawls that spill into the stands, someone dropping their towel on the Monday Night Football intro and arrests...this is good for everybody.
Finally, how can Michigan be in the Rose Bowl? What's more, how can they be mentioned in the BCS picture? They got beat by a mediocre Notre Dame team (who played the toughest schedule in the nation this season) and then get DESTROYED by a less than mediocre Ohio State team. It doesn't add up.
Oh, one more thing. WHO DEY?!?!?! Actually, lost in all of the hype over the Bengals victory is how they can give up 40 odd points to the Browns who aren't exactly an offensive powerhouse?
P.s....I love the Bengies uniforms despite what others say. They look great!
Monday, October 18, 2004
The Fall Season
Hello all,
It's been nearly a month since my last posting. I'm hoping with the onset of colder weather some of my activities will slow down a little and allow me more time to do meaningless stuff like this.
The Fall softball season is winding down as tournament season starts up. For some reason, we were scheduled to play 3/4 of our games with a starting time of 9:15 pm. I don't know about you, but at 9:15, the last thing I'm thinking about is dragging my fat butt out of the house and preparing for a game. Also, if you factor in that after our games we are required by state law to stand in the parking lot and discuss strategy, this makes for a long night. Our strategy sessions typically last about 2 minutes with 1 minute of it talking about how great I played (jokingly). An hour and a half later, we decide that we should get home. This led to our epiphany as to why we were scheduled to play so late....because the director knew we'd be the last ones to leave anyhow, so why not just schedule them at the end???
Even though playing ball gets a little old after a while, I still look forward to getting together with the guys. I feel like a school kid being let out for recess...the doors open up and you just run and laugh and be stupid. That's about what happens in our games. We get together and laugh, goof around, crack on each other and just have a great time. The game is secondary. We still play very well even though we had our two season unbeaten streak broken early this season. Teams are starting to catch up with us. I'm pretty certain that it isn't them getting better but, instead, us getting a little slower and probably a lot less serious. I have to say that we win a majority of our games with defense and great execution. I truly believe that other teams envy our ability when it comes to situational defense, lining up cut-off throws, being in proper locations, etc... What is really neat about it is that since we started (in about 1992) we've done with a "homegrown" team of guys who all went to high school together. What's more, we are all close friends off the field. I've never seen a team that could boast that. We started our first few years getting thumped on a little. Spent a majority of the next years dominating...and we are now in the "Fall Season" of our illustrious softball careers. And while we are starting to lose our edge a little, I don't think there are too many more teams around that get the respect we get. Mouthy teams are a lot less mouthy when they play us. This is partly due to the fact that we have a few guys that wouldn't mind mixing it up a little bit, but I think it is mostly because we are able to just blow up and score 15 runs in an inning.
I've been a part of some huge games. Seen a "Perfect" game thrown by Mark Rose. 9 batters. The tenth batter was running late and hurrying to get his shoes on and get loose. No need. He never got to hit. I've never seen that happen before. We've played guys with watches and jeans (to which it is mandatory to ask the guy, "What time ya' got?") and we've played state champs. We won the Ft. Loramie tournament which, to us, was the biggest thing around. Why? Because drinking beer was demanded of your team and they served mushroom burgers. The organizer would call us the month before to confirm we were playing because they had to order a truckload of burgers for us. I've seen one of our guys hit 5 homers in a game..each farther than the one before it. The last at bat, the outfielders were gathered in centerfield leaning against the fence talking...the ball launched 10 rows deep into the cornfield behind them. We won the championship there one year and it really felt like the freakin' World Series. Mike Rose took a pitch (that looked like a strike) to make it a full count. With the bases loaded and down by three, he deposited the next pitch over the fence and onto the road. Game over, championship won! Our prize. A warm 12-pack of Shaeffer Light beer.
Best beer we've ever had.
It's been nearly a month since my last posting. I'm hoping with the onset of colder weather some of my activities will slow down a little and allow me more time to do meaningless stuff like this.
The Fall softball season is winding down as tournament season starts up. For some reason, we were scheduled to play 3/4 of our games with a starting time of 9:15 pm. I don't know about you, but at 9:15, the last thing I'm thinking about is dragging my fat butt out of the house and preparing for a game. Also, if you factor in that after our games we are required by state law to stand in the parking lot and discuss strategy, this makes for a long night. Our strategy sessions typically last about 2 minutes with 1 minute of it talking about how great I played (jokingly). An hour and a half later, we decide that we should get home. This led to our epiphany as to why we were scheduled to play so late....because the director knew we'd be the last ones to leave anyhow, so why not just schedule them at the end???
Even though playing ball gets a little old after a while, I still look forward to getting together with the guys. I feel like a school kid being let out for recess...the doors open up and you just run and laugh and be stupid. That's about what happens in our games. We get together and laugh, goof around, crack on each other and just have a great time. The game is secondary. We still play very well even though we had our two season unbeaten streak broken early this season. Teams are starting to catch up with us. I'm pretty certain that it isn't them getting better but, instead, us getting a little slower and probably a lot less serious. I have to say that we win a majority of our games with defense and great execution. I truly believe that other teams envy our ability when it comes to situational defense, lining up cut-off throws, being in proper locations, etc... What is really neat about it is that since we started (in about 1992) we've done with a "homegrown" team of guys who all went to high school together. What's more, we are all close friends off the field. I've never seen a team that could boast that. We started our first few years getting thumped on a little. Spent a majority of the next years dominating...and we are now in the "Fall Season" of our illustrious softball careers. And while we are starting to lose our edge a little, I don't think there are too many more teams around that get the respect we get. Mouthy teams are a lot less mouthy when they play us. This is partly due to the fact that we have a few guys that wouldn't mind mixing it up a little bit, but I think it is mostly because we are able to just blow up and score 15 runs in an inning.
I've been a part of some huge games. Seen a "Perfect" game thrown by Mark Rose. 9 batters. The tenth batter was running late and hurrying to get his shoes on and get loose. No need. He never got to hit. I've never seen that happen before. We've played guys with watches and jeans (to which it is mandatory to ask the guy, "What time ya' got?") and we've played state champs. We won the Ft. Loramie tournament which, to us, was the biggest thing around. Why? Because drinking beer was demanded of your team and they served mushroom burgers. The organizer would call us the month before to confirm we were playing because they had to order a truckload of burgers for us. I've seen one of our guys hit 5 homers in a game..each farther than the one before it. The last at bat, the outfielders were gathered in centerfield leaning against the fence talking...the ball launched 10 rows deep into the cornfield behind them. We won the championship there one year and it really felt like the freakin' World Series. Mike Rose took a pitch (that looked like a strike) to make it a full count. With the bases loaded and down by three, he deposited the next pitch over the fence and onto the road. Game over, championship won! Our prize. A warm 12-pack of Shaeffer Light beer.
Best beer we've ever had.
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Food Worries
I was sitting here at my little lunch break thinking of really important issues. Like... when they have the nutrition facts on the back of a package, why are the Serving Sizes always so odd. For example, on a bag of Cheetos, the serving size is "about 21 pieces". About? If it's "about", why not just round it down to 20. Why 21? Also noted is that the serving size is "about 2". If my math is correct, and there's an excellent chance it is not, then that means there are 42 Cheetos in this package.
But, let's get to the heart of the matter. What is a Cheeto, really? Is a Cheeto a finger length sprig of dangerously cheesy goodness, or rather a knuckle-length morsel which brings on a severe case of cheesgasm? I don't know. Is it really necessary for the Frito-Lay Co. to label the bottom of the bag "Cheese flavored snack"? Was there a big board meeting where all of these high level execs sit around a large mahogany table and decide, "We need to let the consumer know that this isn't actually cheese, but instead, just cheese flavored snacks!" When three of the first five ingredients are Ferrous Sulfate, Niacin, and Thiamin Mononitrate, I'm gonna guess that this isn't a wholesome cheese snack derived from some fine wheel of cheese somewhere.
While we are talking about food, I think we need to talk about cereal for just a moment. In this day and age, when you always get a little less of the things you need in return for your hard-earned money, how is it that when I eat Raisin Bran and/or Lucky Charms I am bombarded with an unproportionally high amount of Raisin and/or Charm? I gotta tell you, Raisin Bran without the raisin is just plain Total. When I get a nice raisin in there, well, it's like a party in my mouth. But just like any party, you only want a few of your close personl friends. You don't want to open the door and have your biker buddy and his 56 member posse trailing in. You need some order! Just like Lucky Charms, I can't enjoy the magical deliciousness if my mouth is scraping through too many marshmallow treats. It's like eating packing peanuts with a few toasted oats thrown in. If you owned a cereal company, wouldn't you skimp a little on the "extras" and stay a little heavy on the filler? I would think! Apparently, this is the reason why cereal costs $4 freakin dollars a box.
I don't know. I think we need some federal legislation to straighten things out in the snack and cereal industry. Someone has to get a handle on the madness!
But, let's get to the heart of the matter. What is a Cheeto, really? Is a Cheeto a finger length sprig of dangerously cheesy goodness, or rather a knuckle-length morsel which brings on a severe case of cheesgasm? I don't know. Is it really necessary for the Frito-Lay Co. to label the bottom of the bag "Cheese flavored snack"? Was there a big board meeting where all of these high level execs sit around a large mahogany table and decide, "We need to let the consumer know that this isn't actually cheese, but instead, just cheese flavored snacks!" When three of the first five ingredients are Ferrous Sulfate, Niacin, and Thiamin Mononitrate, I'm gonna guess that this isn't a wholesome cheese snack derived from some fine wheel of cheese somewhere.
While we are talking about food, I think we need to talk about cereal for just a moment. In this day and age, when you always get a little less of the things you need in return for your hard-earned money, how is it that when I eat Raisin Bran and/or Lucky Charms I am bombarded with an unproportionally high amount of Raisin and/or Charm? I gotta tell you, Raisin Bran without the raisin is just plain Total. When I get a nice raisin in there, well, it's like a party in my mouth. But just like any party, you only want a few of your close personl friends. You don't want to open the door and have your biker buddy and his 56 member posse trailing in. You need some order! Just like Lucky Charms, I can't enjoy the magical deliciousness if my mouth is scraping through too many marshmallow treats. It's like eating packing peanuts with a few toasted oats thrown in. If you owned a cereal company, wouldn't you skimp a little on the "extras" and stay a little heavy on the filler? I would think! Apparently, this is the reason why cereal costs $4 freakin dollars a box.
I don't know. I think we need some federal legislation to straighten things out in the snack and cereal industry. Someone has to get a handle on the madness!
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Good Luck, Steve
At this point, I feel like I should start to post some very worthwhile things. Yet, I really don't have anything new and exciting to say. I could go into a long talk about how I went to the grocery this evening...yeah, that works!
A friend of mine, Steve, is retiring from work tomorrow. We are having a little carry-in lunch for him (this is the reason for the late night trip to the grocery). He's really a great guy who always made me laugh somehow. I can recount at least 10 different stories through the years of him doing something crazy at work that I'll never forget. The smokebombs under peoples cars...the Chevy Chase-like falls during company meetings. Walking around the off-site facility in his underwear, pretending like he didn't know you were there, talking on the phone telling the "other" person how hot it was over there and if he could "just get a fan". We've had a lot of great talks through the years. We've had a few good battles too. This is a man who skips his lunch to stop by your house to drop off a card for your newborn baby...all while wearing a doctors mask, for effect. Just a really good guy. I'll miss him much. Happy Trails, Steve and I know you'll enjoy your retirement.
A friend of mine, Steve, is retiring from work tomorrow. We are having a little carry-in lunch for him (this is the reason for the late night trip to the grocery). He's really a great guy who always made me laugh somehow. I can recount at least 10 different stories through the years of him doing something crazy at work that I'll never forget. The smokebombs under peoples cars...the Chevy Chase-like falls during company meetings. Walking around the off-site facility in his underwear, pretending like he didn't know you were there, talking on the phone telling the "other" person how hot it was over there and if he could "just get a fan". We've had a lot of great talks through the years. We've had a few good battles too. This is a man who skips his lunch to stop by your house to drop off a card for your newborn baby...all while wearing a doctors mask, for effect. Just a really good guy. I'll miss him much. Happy Trails, Steve and I know you'll enjoy your retirement.
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