
One little task that I always thought would be neat would be to throw out the ceremonial first pitch to a baseball game. Of course, my original plan included me being begged to do it because I was either a famous athlete, President, or some other glamorous position. My dreams didn't involve me emailing a guy several times begging them to allow me to do it. But I'm willing to look past that little fact and focus on the fun part.
The date was July 9th, 2005. I was to be at the ballpark at 6:15, 45 minutes prior to gametime. *Side note: If you know me, I prefer to be at a game at least an hour and half before scheduled start time. I have a rule that I usually follow...If I'm gonna miss the national anthem, then I'm not going. I once went to Boston for the last Celtics/Lakers game in the old Garden

Anyway, it's always nice to see how caring and thoughtful people are when an event like this comes along. For example, I'd be willing to bet that 30 people, in the days leading up to my moment, said things like "I'll bet you bounce it" "Don't bounce it to the catcher, fag" "You better scoot up so you don't bounce it". Very encouraging.
But I entered the night trying to maintain the same boastful demeanor that I had when I originally realized that I wanted to do this. It was a warm summer night a few years ago and I was sitting next to my friend and fellow season-ticket holder Jake Hawkins. We had seen a dozen first pitches by this point in the season. However, we both noticed that nobody really gassed it up there. They all kinda' lobbed it. Shortly after, we began booing first pitches because they were generally blase' and lacked any of the excitement that the beginning of our National Pasttime warrants. I vowed that if I ever got the chance I would saunter out there, reach back and give it all I had. And, much like my email to a Dayton Dragons representative, I boasted about how exactly I was gonna' do it if I ever got the chance. "I'm not scared"
By chance, that same Dragon's rep replied to my mail and asked when I wanted to do it.
My mouth dropped to the floor and that swaggering bravado that I once posessed went out the door like a fart in the wind.
So my day came. 8,000 plus fans packed into the friendly banking confines of 5/3 Field...Home of the Single A Cincinnati Reds affiliate Dayton Dragons.
I was taken underneath the stadium and through it catacombs and eventually to a hall where the sunlight poured in. To the light and up the steps and I was standing in the dugout. The dream of playing professional ball is something that I am not able to check off my list, but this is as close as you can get to it.
I stood at the top of the steps and leaned over the top rail like I belonged there. Looking out onto the field I felt the previously unfelt nervousness creep in. It's that excited, nervous, worried jitters that one may get before a game...and for that moment I felt like one of the team. I watched guys tape up their bats. Shook hands with the hitting coach, Chris Sabo. Yes, the 1988 NL Rookie of the Year! I had a lot of time to just look around. My wife and kids were there (Ava's first baseball game!!!), and a lot of my family and friends as well as quite a few co-workers.
They announced my name, rolled out a red carpet, put my name and image of me on the jumbo-tron and I took the long stroll to the foot of the mound. I looked into the catcher, who earlier gave me some good advice. He said, in his deep Texas draw, "It's better to throw it high, than throw it low"...obviously a reference to the fact that he didn't want some liquored up bozo (me) bouncing the ball of his precious nuts.
So, I take the ball and look in for the signs, he flashed me the "number 1": Fastball. I jokingly shook him off, knowing that I didn't have the guts to try to snap off a curveball and risk it actually bouncing my catchers important parts. I nodded "yes" and started the full wind-up. It was midway through the throw as my left foot planted that I thought to myself, "I'm getting old..this doesn't feel like I remember the last time I pitched" (which was in 92 against Otterbein College). But as different as it felt, something about it felt right too. For that one split second, I was winding up in front of a packed house, with my wife snapping pictures, friends video taping it, my family and especially my daughters in the stands...and it all felt really good.
All in all, it was a great day that I had been excited about for a long time. And as we stood for the national anthem and looked out on the pristine field of green, manned by the boys of summer, there was no place I would have rather been
Oh, and for the record, it was a strike.
***I wanted to include this email from a good friend of ours, Eddie...enjoy:
Mike, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Shady McSlimey and I am an up-and-coming sports agent. I happened to be in town looking for new talent when I saw you at the Dayton Dragons game last Saturday. I was very impressed with your composure under extreme pressure and would like to talk to you about the possibility of joining our team here at McSlimey & Assoc. I am sure that you have been deluged with offers after your rare display of poise and power. Before you sign with anyone I'd like you to talk to a few of the people I currently represent and hear first hand how I've changedtheir lives. Not to sound braggadocios but here are just a few of the elite athletes and stars in my stable. Danny Amonte', Ryan Leaf, TimCouch, Tiffany, DavidKlingler, Mr.T, Eve Plum, Buddy from Buddy's Carpet, Mark Aberrantly( TheKool-Aid Pitcher guy),and my newest signee...Roof-Man of the DaytonDragon's! I know you have the same potential as any of these house hold names. Please contact me so we can begin to change your life forever!
Sincerely, Shady
PS: I hope I'm not showing all my cards by sharing this with you but if you sign before August 1st I'll provide you and your family with a free rental car for the weekend of your choice (Economy or Mid-Size, yourcall!).......*This offer not valid inCalifornia,Nevada,Pa.,Florida,Texas,Mississippi,Washington,Iowa or any otherstate where I have been prohibited from doing business by that states Attorney General*