Just more stuff...

Well, I've been trying to think of some important topic or funny story to share with you all. And you know what?...I'm drawing a blank. First, I would like to thank all of you who have been reading my site regularly. In fact, it is exciting to me to know that others are checking me out. It's also a little scary. But the good thing is that it makes me more motivated to sit and turn out this mindless drivel.

Funny words: Once in a while I get a word or phrase stuck in my head and can't get them out. Here are a few recent ones: stipend, congruity, pivot table, kevin federline, montage, jumpin' jehosaphat, and Gadzooks!!! (three exclamation points are required by law to follow that word)
Funny saying I heard: He's happier than a monkey in Bananaland.

We have a floor fan going in our un-air conditioned house. It is required that I must walk up to any fan and say into it "Luke. I am your father" ala Darth Vader. So I do that. A minute or two later, my daughter Sophia walks up to the same fan and says, "Luke. I am your brother. Duhhh!" and quietly walks away.

I could tell you that the other day, I was on my way home from work. It's early afternoon and it's about 95 degrees out. I look to my right and see a guy in a freakin' pith helmet mowing his grass. You may recall, if you are a loyal reader of this site (all two of you), that I am mesmerized by the whole pith helmet thing. I wrote about it earlier when speaking of the US Postal Service and their use of them (and I will again note that I hate the postal service...use email, phones, faxes, telegraph, maritime flags. Anything to bury the postal service and their civil servant-laden ranks of slack jawed..well, slackers. If postal employees had shovels to lean on, instantly city, county, and state road crews would no longer be the butt of laziness jokes).
Anyhow, this guy is in his ditch with his pith helmet on his head. But to top off the entire ensemble, he was wearing khaki shorts and a khaki shirt. I totally expected to see a lion jump out of the weeds or perhaps a Range Rover full of sightseers come into view. For a minute I thought I was at Animal Kingdom and this was one of the groundskeepers.
But it all comes back to this simple question: Who wakes up in the morning and says, "You know what? I think I'm going with the khaki on khaki today...and....Yes! The ol' helmet"
****See stock photo of man in pith helmet...what a goober!

Watched a good movie the other day called Garden State. It was a friday night and it was rather late for me...about midnight. I was flipping through the channels looking for anything good. So I stop on this one channel where a guy is sitting in a doctor's office filling out paperwork and this blind lady's dog quietly slips away from her. The dog instantly walks up to the guy filling out papers and starts humping his leg. I don't care who you are or where you are from...that is always funny. Perhaps the only time it isn't funny is if you are the "humpee". Which reminds me of a great line from a "Vacation" movie. Cousin Eddie's dog starts humping Chevy Chase's leg when Eddie says "Aw Clark. He's got a little Mississippi Leg Hound in him. Just best to let him finish". Classic line.
I watch a little bit more of it because it has the guy from Scrubs in it (Zach Braff..who also directed it) and I like him. But quickly I noticed the movie wasn't a comedy after all. It was part romantic, part drama, part comedy. In other words, it was a ChickFlick.
Naturally, you would think that I quickly turned the channel. But it must have been the soft, intoxicating glow of my warm television flickering on my tired eyes because I couldn't turn it. In fact, quite morbidly, I was waiting for it to start sucking. But that moment never came.
These are the types of movies that win awards and I typically avoid. I've learned that the more nominations a movie receives, the more reason I don't want to see it. See, me and The Academy don't really agree on what makes a movie enjoyable. In fact, it's not about "enjoyement" with them. It's about "art" and "their craft". Here's how you get your movie nominated for an award: A) Be very disturbing B) Make the viewer uneasy C) Be very serious D) Get a beautiful actress and make her ugly. You will then be nominated.
My criteria? Easy. A) Make me laugh B) Give me an hour and half to two hours of enjoyment C) Gratuitous nudity.
Really though, it is a great movie. I didn't know who the heck Natalie Portman was but in this movie she was (and I have probably used this word twice before in my life) "adorable".

That's all I have. If anyone has some feedback or ideas, please let me, or my publisher (hardy har har) know.