Monday, September 26, 2005

Wish

I don't care if you don't like Notre Dame, Charlie Weis, or football at all. This is a such a wonderful story that I felt compelled to post it.

Weis grants little boy's dying wish
Associated Press
SOUTH BEND, Ind. -- Charlie Weis doesn't usually let anyone else call plays on offense. He made an exception for 10-year-old Montana Mazurkiewicz.
The Notre Dame coach met last week with Montana, who had been told by doctors weeks earlier that there was nothing more they could do to stop the spread of his inoperable brain tumor.
"He was a big Notre Dame fan in general, but football especially," said his mother, Cathy Mazurkiewicz.

Weis showed up at the Mazurkiewicz home in Mishawaka, just east of South Bend, and talked with Montana about his tumor and about Weis' 10-year-old daughter, Hannah, who has global development delay, a rare disorder similar to autism.
He told Montana about some pranks he played on Joe Montana -- whom Montana was named after -- while they were roommates at Notre Dame.
"I gave him a chance to hammer me on the Michigan State loss, which he did very well. He reminded me of my son," said Weis, whose son, Charlie Jr., is 12 years old.
Weis said the meeting was touching.
"He told me about his love for Notre Dame football and how he just wanted to make it through this game this week," Weis said. "He just wanted to be able to live through this game because he knew he wasn't going to live very much longer."
As Weis talked to the boy, Cathy Mazurkiewicz rubbed her son's shoulder trying to ease his pain. Weis said he could tell the boy was trying not to show he was in pain.
His mother told Montana, who had just become paralyzed from the waist down a day earlier because of the tumor, to toss her a football Weis had given him. Montana tried to throw the football, put could barely lift it. So Weis climbed into the reclining chair with him and helped him complete the pass to his mother.
Before leaving, Weis signed the football.
"He wrote, 'Live for today for tomorrow is always another day,"' Mazurkiewicz said.
"He told him: 'You can't worry about tomorrow. Just live today for everything it has and everything you can appreciate,'" she said. "He said: 'If you're (in pain) today you might not necessarily be in pain tomorrow, or it might be worse. But there's always another day.'"
Weis asked Montana if there was something he could do for him. He agreed to let Montana call the first play against Washington on Saturday. He called "pass right."
Montana never got to see the play. He died Friday at his home.
Weis heard about the death and called Mazurkiewicz on Friday night to assure her he would still call Montana's play.
"He said, 'This game is for Montana, and the play still stands,'" she said.
Weis said he told the team about the visit. He said it wasn't a "Win one for the Gipper" speech, because he doesn't believe in using individuals as inspiration. He just wanted the team to know people like Montana are out there.
"That they represent a lot of people that they don't even realize they're representing," Weis said.
When the Irish started on their own 1-yard-line following a fumble recovery, Mazurkiewicz wasn't sure Notre Dame would be able to throw a pass. Weis was concerned about that, too. So was quarterback Brady Quinn.
"He said 'What are we going to do?'" Weis said. "I said 'We have no choice. We're throwing it to the right.'"
Weis called a play where most of the Irish went left, Quinn ran right and looked for tight end Anthony Fasano on the right.
Mazurkiewicz watched with her family.
"I just closed my eyes. I thought, 'There's no way he's going to be able to make that pass. Not from where they're at. He's going to get sacked and Washington's going to get two points,'" she said.
Fasano caught the pass and leapt over a defender for a 13-yard gain.
"It's almost like Montana was willing him to beat that defender and take it to the house," Weis said.
Mazurkiewicz was happy.
"It was an amazing play. Montana would have been very pleased. I was very pleased," she said. "I was just so overwhelmed. I couldn't watch much more."
Weis called her again after the game, a 36-17 victory by the 13th-ranked Fighting Irish, and said he had a game ball signed by the team that he wanted to bring to the family on Sunday.
"He's a very neat man. Very compassionate," she said. "I just thanked him for using that play, no matter the circumstances."

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Just some stuff

I've given the recent Ohio State loss some time to sink in and I think I have my thoughts straight now. No longer am I fueled by the emotion of the moment or the pork chops or keg of beer. Three things bother me about the game and I will try to be brief:
One...A platoon system at quarterback rarely, if ever, is successful. I know there had to be a few quarterbacks in history that shared duties and did just fine, but I can't think of them.
Two... It's first and goal. You are OSU. You line up three times from the shotgun?!? This is the Big Ten, baby! This is where true football is played. You line your horses up and say, "Try to stop this" You don't dodge the fight.
Three...I read today where the OSU tight end Ryan Hamby (no relation to Erik or Heather) is getting "hate mail" from fans after he dropped a wide open touchdown pass as the Buckeyes went on to lose at home and essentially squelch all hopes of playing for the National Title. When he did it, I and another person at the same time said "And Jackie Smith has to be the sickest man in America", in reference to the famous broadcast of the '79 Super Bowl where Smith, from Dallas dropped a sure touchdown from Roger Staugbach and go on to lose the game to the Steelers by 3 points.
Listen, it's just a game folks...right? If I had Ryan's address here is what I would write
"Dear Mr. Hamby,
Your dropped ball in the biggest game of the college football season was only overshadowed, ultimately, by your team's inability to win. You are getting paid a fine salary while we should also not forget to mention your lucrative scholarship deal and your "loaner car" program provided by your greater Columbus auto dealers (wink, wink). Your dropped ball sent a shooting pain into my gut as I felt like I got kicked by a rabid venomous mule. I don't believe you should be getting hate mail. That is unfair. However, I do feel that you should have your tires slashed once a week and every time your name is mentioned it should be followed by a shower of "boooo"
Sincerely,
My team never wins"

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Scam alert! Body wash is nothing more than liquid hand soap in a fancy bottle that says "body wash" Don't let 'em fool ya'! It would be no different than if I poured some Palmolive dish soap in a bottle labeled Herbal Essence or something. It's all the same stuff, man! I think Procter and Gamble makes it all in one giant brass vat...takes a little out and throws some coloring in it and, bingo...you've got hand soap/shampoo/body wash/etc...

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Listen, I sincerely like Oprah. I really do. She is a self-made success and carries herself well and is somewhat attractive. She's helped thousands of less fortunate and does a lot of "good". But let me give you a rundown of nearly every Oprah Show:
Person with some problem sits on high backed chair. Tells the crowd his/her problem as the producer in the booth sprinkles in a few crowd shots (consisting primarily of some red-eyed housewife wiping her nose and slowly nodding that "you poor soul/we're with you" nod)
Person with problem then says something to the effect of "but I'm gonna beat it....or....but I just keep trying....or....I'm gonna make it. You'll see" Producer pans back into tight shot of another woman with tears streaming down her face as she gives the "everything's gonna be all right" look. Oprah looks into the camera and explains she's just like all of us, except for the fact that she's worth 50 katrillion bajillion dollars.
But I'll bet Oprah is a fun time. I'd like to go out with her if she ever asks me.
Note to self: Must eliminate Stedman
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Sophia has recently started pre-school and my post work ritual of picking her up when school lets out has begun. I always enjoy this time of year because this is when I get to scope out all of the mothers. It is also a time where I make wagers with myself about the following "how many of these dames will actually talk to me this year?". I do an over/under game. It's still early, but I'll say out of 20 ladies, I am looking at an "under 4". Now let me say this, 90% of them are really nice people. Really. Let me set the scene for you: Thirty seven mini-vans parked near the door. I pull up in the truck and park 30 miles away. They should be running some sort of shuttle service for me. I stroll up fresh from another day at my horrific, life-sucking job. I couldn't stick out more than if I had been dropped off by a squad car shackled up in an orange prison suit. As I get closer I hear "what did you do today?" and one of them will usually say "oh, not much. Kinda hung around. Was just tired...lazy day", as I think about my wife who drives 200 miles a day and schedules her appointments to be there to take her kids to school.
But these few moments of uneasiness are immediately erased when that door opens up and Sophia (now...Anna before) dashes out with arms wide open. It might as well be a tunnel she's running through because I see or hear nothing else but her. It's such a great moment that I've gotten to re-appreciate after the summer off.
*and for the record, the ladies are actually very nice and don't treat me half as bad as I put on*
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Gotta go. Please be sure to check out my Previous Posts. You think you hate this site now, wait til' you read more!

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Football Is Upon Us

I'm sitting here at around midnight on a friday night and was thinking, "d'ya know why I'll never be a great writer?" The obvious answers include, but are not limited to, my complete lack of punctuation and the fact that I wouldn't know a run-on sentence from a past participle and a little thing called "formal training". But instead I realize that the main reason I'll never be placed in the pantheon of great writers is how I look. No, not physical body features or anything (exhibit A: Steven King...he looks like a rejected zoo monkey with a couple of coke bottles shoved in his eyes sockets...but that somfabitch can write some damned words now!) As I sit at my cluttered desk I realize that I am wearing nothing but a ripped-up sleeveles Nike shirt and some ratty shorts from '97. Occassionaly I will take a huge gulp of chocolate milk and often scratch south of the border. Great writers would be sitting upon an overstuffed, riveted leather chair at an old manual typewriter with a giant bowl of brandy by their side. Not me. I swear, if for some reason every writer in the world disappeared overnight and people turned their lonely eyes to me for literature, the first book I published would have a full picture on the back jacket cover of me in a cardigan sweater with elbow patches, smoking a meerschaum pipe as I gaze into the distance with a pensive look on my face
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Has anyone noticed that Nick Lachey has been doing a lot of sports shows lately? I've seen him on discussion panels and being asked for his picks of the week. Now many may say, "What the hell is he doing talking about sports?". If you know me, you might think I would say the same. But I gotta' say, I think it's kinda cool. Let's look at the facts: He's from Cincy, he seems like a pretty good guy, he knows what he's talking about...oh!...and he's currently shacking up with some incredibly steaming hot babe. (if there are any doubts about the said hotness of his wife, please refer to her video for the Dukes movie. I've spoken about the "POW" factor before...when you see someone like her and just say "Pow!"...much stronger than wow, closer to holy crap, but just below Geeeezusss Krrriiisstt!) So, good for him. You know, he and I are a lot alike. We both have beautiful wives, love Cincinnati sports teams...and....well, I never sang in a boy band or slept with Jessica Simpson and I wake up and go to a job each day that I simply deplore and have the life sucked out of me for 8 hours 5 days a week. Yeah, we're a lot alike. (a lone tear streams down my cheek)
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The approach of 9/11 is coming soon and, without bringing down the "show", it just amazes me how life-altering that day was for all of us. No words could ever describe. But on a completely different subject, and much lighter I might add, the 11th also marks the second day of what I consider to be Football season. See, Saturday night is the Ohio State vs. Texas matchup. Sunday is the Bengals opener against the cleveland team. This is the start of football for me because OSU openers don't really mean too much to me. Whoopdee doo...Miami of Ohio, or BG, or some other mid-major. But Saturday! Look out. I'm so excited that I have already applied the eye-black to my cheeks and taped my ankles. I'm giddy with anticipation. To make things better, our good friend Gene (proprieter/operator of Geno's Bar and Grill) has decided to open his establishment much earlier in the season than usual to mark this occassion. Thinking about it...I've never had a bad time there, so no wonder why I can't wait to get back. (Geno's among many other events, marked the place where I enjoyed one of the greatest sports moments in my life. It was the Ohio State National Championship vs. Miami (of Fla.). Without going on too much about the intensity in that room that night, I have to say that I'll never forget that feeling I had in the last minutes when the Buckeyes missed their final opportunity and how I just hurt because AGAIN, my team failed. But wait! A flag. Another chance. They convert! Final seconds, Miami fails and the clock is at zero and I remember the room erupting in sheer craziness of people hugging/jumping...I fell to the floor and people fell all around me as the noise was deafening in a tiny bar in a barn in the middle of the country on a cold, cold January night as a handful of good friends celebrated a common victory. There is so much more in that memory than just the win and it's something I will never forget.
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For fear of jinxing my team, I will not make my usual prediction this year as I have the last couple. No, I'm not saying the Bengals will go 15-1 or "14-2...conservative". It doesn't work and only accomplishes the goal of making me look more of the horse's ass than I already am.
In related news, I stepped down from my long tenure as Commissioner of the JFL (J-Bird Fantasy Football League). I started it on my own in 1999 and ran it up until a few weeks ago. I ruled with an Iron Fist from Suite 83 in the JFL Headquarters in downtown New York, but it was time to move on. I just don't have the time or the desire to go through with it this season. But if you have never done a fantasy football league, do yourself a favor and try it. It will make you concerned for the stats of the freakin' Arizona/Seattle game that you would otherwise give two shits less about.
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Donnie Baker and "Morgan Freeman" call in skits on Bob and Tom radio will invariably make me laugh...no matter what! "It was the longest night of Andy's life..."
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Here's a murphy's law moment for you. If you spend a lot of money on a big ass mower, it will never rain again thus eliminating the need for mowing and that new mower sitting in your garage.
It actually has rained a little bit lately and I gotta say my rig gets er done. I can cut a 40 yard long path in 4.2 seconds (I raced Darryl Green, formerly of the Redskins and smoked his butt). It sounds like a freakin' sikorsky when I engage the blades. Oh sure, I may be a pathetic fat loser, but my mower makes me feel really good about myself. *coming soon to a Dr. Phil episode near you*
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The theme is again football. If you haven't seen the Nike Football commercial "I Promise", please check it out here....http://www.nike.com/nikegridiron/index.jhtml?ref=www.nike.com#promise
Not to be a reminiscent sap, but football has so many memories to it that always stay with you. Mostly, for me, are the sounds. As in the commercial I just mentioned, there are a few there that just take you back to very specific moments. There are times when it is exceedingly hot out and excessively dry...and the humidity makes the air so thick...there is this smell I get and it always takes me back to the second session of a two-a-day practice (for those who don't know, you would practice for a few hours in the morning, take a short break, then put all of your wet, sweaty pads back on and go at it for another couple of hours) where the grass has turned to dirt and you wonder why you do it. But another memory comes back as I think about walking down from the locker room preparing to run onto the field. I felt sick to my stomach but incredibly hopped up. Like a gladiator about to do battle. But I'll never forget as we made that slow walk to the gate hearing the band march. No, not the marching band...but the music they made as they marched getting louder over the sound of our cleats on the gravel drive. It was just the drum guys and, I think, the xylophone (can that be right? did they carry a freakin' xylophone in a marching band? Anyway, it was the bell sounding thingy) Again, not to be like Uncle Rico (from Nap. Dynamite) but it is and always will be one of those things that always stick with you.
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I watched The Last Samurai the other night. Let me say this, for as much as a farged-up cooky crackpot that Tom Cruise is, he has made a few good movies (such as a few good men).
Three Cruise movies you gotta see if you could only see three:
**#1 Top Gun :no brainer, one of the greatest movies of all time.
**#2 Collateral: would be #1 if there were no Top Gun. He's a freakin' badass in this movie. Intense and Jamie Foxx is good in it. (the soundtrack includes a song called "Hands of Time" by the Groove Armada, find this song and listen to it. Incredible)
**#3 I'm not sure now that I've started my list...but you have to mention these as really good movies (at least that I liked) Few Good Men, The Firm, Minority Report, and Born on the 4th of July
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Shouldn't trees be free to anyone who wants them? On the same note, why the hell should a three foot baby tree cost over a hundred bucks? Something doesn't seem right about that. Probably why it cost 2 bucks for a bottle of freakin' water. **Which reminds me, if you want to see a great comedian, see Jim Gaffigan...he does a bit on water that is perfect**
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Allright, I'm done for the night. Remember, there is a plethora of dated, mindless ramblings located in the Archives section (below the previous posts area) on the right hand side of this site.